When you know
by BaronessBlixen
Summary: LL. After French Twist. Lorelei POV. Please read and review.


TITLE: When you know

AUTHOR: Anika I wish I did, but I do not own them.

CATEGORY: Purely L/L

SPOILERS/TIMELINE: 07x07 "French Twist"

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I am really ped at all my favorite TV shows lately, but Gilmore girls is the worst yet. I don't even watch it anymore, at least not really. I only needed like 10 minutes to watch the latest episode. When did this show get so bad? Has Chris always been so annoying? Well, he'll be "hums-while-he-pees" to me forever anyway...At least I was inspired to write, because actually I have no time at all (thanks university teachers!). So I hope you guys read this and tell me what you think. Have fun.

Lorelai inspected her wedding band for the thousand time. It still felt so new, and weird. It was heavy on her finger, it kinda felt like it didn't belong there.

Right after Christopher had asked her to marry him, in front of this spectacular scenery, Luke had popped into her mind. His baseball cap reversed on his head, his shy, tentative smile and his attentive, kind of sceptic look... she couldn't shake his image off. Christopher had convinced her it would be what they both wanted. He had taken her hand, led her away, occasionally kissing her neck.

They were so different, these two men- two men she loved. She didn't question the love. But was it the same love after all? Lorelai twisted the shiny wedding band once again. It was a simple ring, but Christopher had promised her to get her something more special in time. Lorelai tried to ban Luke from her mind. Suddenly, he wasn't smiling anymore, he looked hurt and confused and angry. Lorelai took her the wedding band off for a moment, the spot hit the air and felt cold. She slipped it back on. Luke had every right to be angry.

Haden, Haden, Haden. Lorelai Haden. Christopher Haden. She was now Mr.Christopher Haden. She could just image how happy her parents would be. After all these years, they had finally gotten what they wanted. Christopher moved beside her in his sleep. For a moment, Lorelai was scared he would wake up. She stopped breathing for a second. He wasn't waking up, Lorelai relaxed. It hit her with sudden force what a tremendous mistake she'd made.

Lorelai had believed this was what she had wanted. She had started dating Christopher right after she and Luke had been over. She had ended it. Hadn't he wanted to elope just few hours later? But she hadn't been able to wait, she had to run off and sleep with Christopher.

Lorelai turned and looked at her husband. The father of her child. Her first love. Her soulmate? Biting on her lip, she knew the answer was no. Yes, they were alike in many ways, but that's not all that's important. Once again, Luke popped into her mind. What would he do if—she dismissed that thought. Just like her, he moved on. Had to move on. She had made him.

- Part 2 -

Half an hour later, Lorelai was still wide awake. She checked the time on her alarm clock; it was 4.06. Christopher usually slept in, he wouldn't be awake before 9am. 'Not like Luke' a voice in her head whispered. Exhausted, she put her pillow over her eyes. 'Maybe he'll forgive you' the voice went on. 'Stop it!' Lorelai told the voice in her mind. 'You still love him' the voice stated bluntly.

"What have I done?" Lorelai whispered into the darkness. Tears were dwelling up. She took the ring off her finger once again and put it next to her alarm clock, staring at it. The tears made the image blurry. Her finger now felt cold. But she didn't mind; she felt cold in general. Questions were running through her mind: why had she gotten married- to Christopher? How could she believe she loved Christopher? How could she start dating again so soon after Luke? Why didn't she realize sooner how much she loved Luke?

Suddenly, she sat upright in bed. The world around her was spinning, she felt like in a dream, in a haze. Her gaze shifted over to Christopher. He had changed so little ever since they had been teenagers. On the surface. They weren't the 16-year old's anymore, they couldn't just relive the past. One day he would understand that, too. Lorelai now- for once and for all- had understood it. They had both tried so hard to live that life. The course of their relationship that would have taken place if Rory hadn't been born. But it hadn't been supposed to be. They had made decisions, built lives. And Lorelai understood that Luke was supposed to be in hers.

Carefully, she got off the bed and went downstairs. She seemed to work on autopilot. She grabbed her coat, slipped it on. Shoes she almost forgot, but eventually slipped them on as well. Through the pitch dark night she walked the short distance. Looking up, she saw a dim light in Luke's apartment. Her heart started beating faster. Even though it was stupid, she checked if anyone was watching her. Then she took the spare key from the secret hiding place and softly opened the door to the diner. Her heart beat faster with every stair she climbed. Then she was standing in front of the door. Again images of Luke captured her mind. The sleeping Christopher, the man she had actually taken as her husband, did not cross her thoughts.

Closing her eyes, she lifted one hand and knocked gently on the door. The sound shot through the silence. She heard shuffling inside, steps coming closer to the door. Her breath became ragged, her heart seemed to be one constant beat. But the door opened and there he was; the man Lorelai had come to love. His hair was still messy, and there was nothing but surprise written on his face. Before either could say, or do anything Lorelai captured his lips with her own. It felt just like coming home. For a moment, she was worried Luke would not return her kiss, would turn her away. But he kissed her back. As if they had never stopped kissing.

"I love you, you know." Lorelai said when they finally parted.

"I love you, too." Luke answered, a small smile appearing on his face.

While stumbling into the apartment, they kissed again and again. There was so much still to talk about, to admit and to explain, to forgive and to sort out.

That could wait. At this moment, two hearts were repaired and re-united and that was all that mattered.

END

A little mushy, but what the hell. When we only get what we get now, it can't harm. So tell me if you prefer my version of what should have happened ;) Or if it was total rubbish.

Written by Anika


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